Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
