Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
