I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
