you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
