"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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