Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
