I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
