Define "chronic" masturbator.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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