do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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