So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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