I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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