I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
