and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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