To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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