im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
