Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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