Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
