My sheets look like a crime scene.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize