you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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