just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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