Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
