hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
