I hate your face
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
