I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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