im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
