He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize