OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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