Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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