I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
