do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
