apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
