just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
where are you?
Hypothermia
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
