Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Randomize
