Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Bring me that man meat
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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