Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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