5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
