Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
