he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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