What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
