so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize