Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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