I just pynch a tree in the face
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize