Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
