I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
