I think scott just propositioned me for sex
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
