On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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