Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
