we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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