I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
