So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
