I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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