We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
