How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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