glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize