I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
