Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
