Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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