Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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