I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
